How to be a more patient person

and the inevitable problems of believing you’re way more important than anyone else

Patience: probably a noun, but also used as a verb/ adjective depending on context, American vs. British English and general awareness level of speaker/writer.

Not a value judgement. Just saying. All of us have a different interpretation and experience of a word depending on the culture, environment, family we grew up in.

Generally speaking though, I believe the majority of us would agree that patience is the ability to keep calm and centered in the face of adversity, annoyance, suffering and general discombobulation.

It’s a nice trait to possess because research* (links to articles to anyone with patience, below) shows that patient people are more likely to persevere, show compassion and have lower blood pressure — nice traits, if you’re on the marathon side of life (here for the evolution and long haul. If you’re a sprinter, you probably need other skills more urgently).

Ok so, here’s my little list of things that could get you started:

1. Practice patience: easier said than done. Start with yourself. Notice how often you lose your shit inside your own head, fess up to it, note it, try again — tomorrow, 5 minutes later, whatever floats your boat. But try.

2. Practice patience with a loved one: they closer we are to people, the more likely they’ll be the very ones to press our buttons. So try, try taking 3 breaths, 5 breaths, 10 breaths before exploding. Try to hang up and call back at a better time. But try.

3. Practice patience when learning: fail. Try again. Fail harder, faster, learn, correct, adjust. But try.

4. Practice patience with the drunk elf sitting in your phone: every time your phone auto-corrects “shit” into “shot”, take 5 deep breaths, do the necessary and continue writing your message/email/post. If necessary, turn off auto-correct. If even more necessary, teach your phone that you say “shit” and it’s not the same thing as “shot” and take 15 breaths this time, and carry on. But try!

5. Practice patience with the person that cut you off in line because they were on the phone (or you live in Israel and that’s the norm): take 15 deep breaths. Then cover your ass with your head. i.e — if you really need to, correct the person’s behaviour. If by the time you’ve taken 15 breaths, the situation has shifted, then take another 15 breaths… and as they say, keep calm and carry on. But try!!